He Said I Was Hope

I remember it so vividly because it was one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received. August 2019, a month that changed my life forever. Summer 2019 really, but… I remember the sincerity in his voice, the look of gratitude in his eyes, and immediately I was reminded that my purpose isn’t just about me. Five minutes prior, I was doing a spoken word piece, standing in front of a room I hadn’t been prepared to stand in front of when I woke that morning.

I remember struggling not to let a tear drop, not to shrug off the compliment, not to push aside the feeling of “wow.” This man didn’t know me, but in the two minutes and forty five seconds it took me to pour out my soul in word form, he made a connection. Identified something in my words that propelled him to speak to me. I struggled with this. I… struggle with this.

What did I say that made him identify? When did he feel like he had to say something? What part of my story felt like his, to him? Why am I so in my head? Why can’t I just take a compliment? Where in life did I forget that I’m unapologetically dope. Humbly speaking, of course!

I wanted to be what he called me. Wanted to be the hope dealer, slanging it on blocks of despair. Rewinding desperation in preparation for something better, hope… he said, “don’t stop speaking.” I nodded. Loss for words. Quiet. Back inside my head. Insert introvert here. He was excited. “Do you do this often?” Here and there was my reply.

I was so uncomfortable! They always expect me to be chatty afterwards. Chats are reserved for family and close friends, often in the form of word vomit from the amount of time I spend alone. Soaking in the alternate realities I paint in my mental, coloring visions of my tomorrow, while calculating the distance it took to get from my reality to the one I just created, my mind isn’t always the safest space. I smile… I laugh… often. More to reassure who I’m speaking with, mastering the balance between small toothless smiles and expressionless. Can you be hope and be an actor at the same time?

He told me that I’d write history. Poets do that. Artist do that. Creatives do that. Make suffering palatable. Bring beauty to broken. Hope to despair, I was going to be an orator for my generation. I already am? Insert God moment here.

Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth

The greatest creator of all time. And I, and we, made in His image will too create. Not always fruitfully, but to not acknowledge where it was birthed from is… _____________!

I’m extremely hard on myself. That’s why the compliment was difficult to accept. His words reminded me of my responsiblity to my gift, and I wish I could thank him. This stranger who could have no idea that six months later, I’d be writing about him.

My point is, being uncomfortable is like soil to growth. It prepares for change. I grew. Becoming what he encouraged that day. I AM hope. For myself, for my people, and for the lives God will have me to inspire. Are you hope? Are you love? Are you peace? The way you live, the fruit you bear, what would someone say of you? Deep inside, who are you? And even more, who do you want to be?
Blessings on that journey.

Romans 12:12 CSB
12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.

Love,

Komplex Simplicity

To the reader, I love you.
To the creative, I am inspired by you.
To the thinker, I am learning from you.
To the doer, I am encouraged by your fearlessness.

Better

January first, I was talking to my nephew on the phone. We spoke about the Holidays, the gifts he received, the short family vacation (that I missed), and about his plans for the new year. While we don’t believe in resolutions, I asked what he would do differently this year, and he said, “Auntie, I want to be better.”

He wanted to achieve better goals at school, he wanted a better hold on his emotions, and he wanted to help the homeless. He wanted to just, be better! My nine year old nephew (eight at the time) had better life goals than half of my Facebook feed, who vowed to have their bodies ready for summer for the fifth year in a row. And I was speechless… Acknowledging the tall order for a child his age, but also encouraging the greatness in him, I let him know that he could achieve what he spoke and followed through with.

That conversation made me question my “better.” Did I want to be better? Was I going to speak the things that I wanted to accomplish, then follow it up with action? Was I going to produce good fruit this year? Prayerfully. It would be easy for me to throw yes on this and then leave it here, but honestly, and I can’t speak for anyone else, I get complacent. Not with physical location, but in the sense that I feel like I “do enough.”

So here I am, 31 days into the new year, posting on a blog I all of abandoned over the years, wondering if anyone survived my disappearing act.

I remember when this was my second love of writing. When I didn’t have to outline, set dates, or schedule posts. When I was simply committed to speaking my truth the only way I knew how, consistently.

My point is, as children we are so fearless of our dreams. We speak what we desire, without fear of being laughed at, mocked or harrassed. We don’t care what it sounds like to other people because it makes sense to us. What can you do better? How can you be better? What desires are you afraid to speak out loud because they might actually begin the birthing process? How committed are you really?

2020 has ALREADY been life changing for me, so I encourage you to find your life changing. Plant new seeds, water seeds you’ve already planted, walk in the harvest, and find your better.

Hebrews 10:24-25 CSB
24 And let us watch out for one another to provoke love and good works, 25 not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.

Blessings,

Komplex Simplicity

To the reader, I love you.
To the creative, I am inspired by you.
To the thinker, I am learning from you.
To the doer, I am encouraged by your fearlessness.

What are you Chasing?

Hey Fam,

This Monday, May 13th, my cohost and I will be launching Chasing Light. Chasing Light is a podcast focusing on faith, art, and what it’s like to navigate those spaces as a millennial in 2019. Do you have to be a millennial to listen? Absolutely NOT!

We all have things in life that we’re chasing. On the podcast, we talk about chasing light, but what are you chasing personally?

Outside of light, I’m chasing love and truth, which essentially is the same thing as light. Light being Christ, but in those areas I find myself creating expectations of what that looks like in practice. I want my truth to be respected and transparent, I want my love to be unconditional.

While there are other things I want in life, such as success and wealth. Those things are not motivating factors for why I do what I do. I do it because I’m purposed to, and above all, I find satisfaction in that.

Life can be unpredictable and beautiful and strange and sad, but we push forward knowing that no one emotion lasts forever. In my quest for living my absolute BEST life, I have found that love, truth, and gratitude can change the world; just as it has changed my world.

So, let me know what you’re chasing. I’d love to talk to you about it! I love you all and I leave you with this…

1 John 3:18 CSB
Little children, we must not love in word or speech, but in deed and truth

Thanks again, God bless and One love.
-Quellz (Komplex Simplicity)

PS Happy mother’s day!
PSS I teach small groups on Sunday at 930am to close out my 2 part lesson. I’ve love to see you at Faith Mission Ministries if you’re in the Clarksville area.

Make the Few Count

Blessings Fam,

I want to begin by saying that you matter! You aren’t here by happenstance, you aren’t reading this by accident. No matter what people tell you, your addition is important.

There is something about tragedy that forces you to reevaluate your life. Sometimes we get so comfortable and adapt to places or positions where we survive. Places we were never meant to stay. When we were meant to be in places where we thrived.

It’s easy to get caught up in the inability to control what happens in our lives. You know what can be controlled? Yourself! When we let go of control and focus on the power that works inside of us, we become stronger. We walk with a different kind of confidence. Our whole mentality shifts.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this… we’re only here for a few moments, make them count. Embrace your dreams. Make a plan so they can become your reality. Make purpose your plan.

Love the people around you, treat others with respect, be slow to anger, and invest positively in your community. Be the change!

Everything you want to see changed, be that, first! Don’t wait on others to do what you can do today. You are so important…

Anyway, there is a season for everything and I know the disappointment and astonishment that lingers near me won’t last forever. Just like whatever you’re going through. Unless its Joy, that comes from the Lord (lol) and I pray you have that forever. Pray for me? Though sadness lingers above the surface, Joy and Gratitude are not too far behind! I love you all and I leave you with this…

Romans 15:13 CSB
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Thanks again, God bless and One love.
-Quellz (Komplex Simplicity)

Believe(r) in the Process

Blessings fam,

It was the day after Thanksgiving 2017 when I sat down with Brozart, a music producer in Nashville. We were meeting for a quick write session, and I say quick write because I had about an hour before I had to leave. I needed to meet up with my church to serve dinner at The Salvation Army.
We made small talk before he asked me what I wanted to do and I, in typical fashion stated, “I mean, I’m down for whatever.” No lie, I was nervous! Lol, Brozart was the homie, but we had never “officially” worked on anything creative together. He played a few tracks and then said, “I have this one track that already has a hook.”
I said, “Okay, let’s hear it.”
He played the beat and we were both vibing to it. We let the beat play for a few minutes before we both began jotting down notes. An hour later, we were recording a rough voice note of the way the song was supposed to go. I left, sprained ankle and all (totally different story lol) and made my way back to my city.

A few days later I received a call from Trisha Alicia (Nashville recording artist), who was the writer of the hook and she said she wanted the whole song.
“…but it’s a rap song.” I said
She responded, “I’ll srap it.” Srap= sing rap
I said, “OK,” interested it to see how it would sound.
What started out as a random write session became the recipe for Believer (click for lyric video), a feel good anthem proclaiming one’s commitment to the freedom granted through God and the love of Christ.

At the beginning of each year, my Sanager and I sit down to talk about yearly goals. One of my goals in 2016 was to have a song out in 2017. (Which manifested itself in a poetry feature on a song called Faith Walk. If you search Komplex Simplicity on spotify, it’ll pop up 2:43-3:16). So, 2017 I wanted to go bigger.

Poetry is such a huge part of my life, so yes, even though I wanted these things I wasn’t ACTIVELY pursuing a way for me to achieve what I spoke. But God! Always aligning and positioning me in situations and around people who increase my creativity and drive.

I said all that to say this, yes I was a little reckless in only saying what I desired and not having a plan, but you have to start somewhere!

Say what you’re afraid to want outloud.
Write it down.
Make it real.

If it’s supposed to be yours then it will be, because nothing can stop you from what already belongs to you! (But frfr you still need to work for what you desire, because you’re still expected to perform.)

God will manifest our desires in ways that we couldn’t even imagine and for this I will always believe in His process!

Anyway, I love you all! And to my friend who embarked on a new journey this week… I believe the God in you! You have so much to offer the world, go be great! I leave you all with this…

John 14: 12-14 CSB
“Truly I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do. And he will do even greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

Thanks again, God bless and One love.
-Quellz (Komplex Simplicity)

P.s. Believer by Trisha Alicia is available everywhere your listen to/stream music!

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