Maybe if we Could…


I see you about 50 times a year…
And every time I see you my feelings are different
If I ever told you that I’m sorry for my conflicting emotions just know that I meant it
It’s just that…
Sometimes seeing you is as easy as Sunday mornings
And, sometimes seeing you is like being in mourning
You see…
The thought of not seeing you fills me with fear
But the thought of you being near fills me with an endless spectrum of emotional ranges
And it’s so hard!
Forcing me to want to get out of this emotional environment
Or maybe I’m just dealing with my sense of entitlement
Which really has no place in this
I was thinking…
Maybe if we could just reach a compromise
So this feeling of conflicting feelings can be modified
Into something I can better identify…
Maybe If we could just… rush through the time we have to spend together
Then I can trick myself into thinking that our time spent was better
But, never mind because if I speed up time then that just leaves me with less time to prepare my fragile feelings for the next time I have to see you, sooo…
Or or or…
Maybe if we could just find a better way to spend the day
Then I could come to appreciate
What seeing you really means
I mean, maybe if we could…
Never mind, you know what I’m trippin
I’m asking you to work this out when I just realized that its me acting different
Because like I said… I see you about 50 times a year and you’re always the same
So, I guess that means it’s me that has changed
But I have some more changing to do
Until then you and I should call a truce
Because I see days not so distant
Where the thought of us being together isn’t met with resistance
Even though, even now I should exalt in your existence, and I do…
See I was thinking that someday,
I wouldn’t even want to press the snooze button when my phone alarm rings it’s Monday.

Thanks again, God Bless and One love

-Quellz (komplex simplicity)

Beenies & Bow Ties

I love this kid!
I love this kid!

A few days ago I’m at work hanging out with a few of the kids knitting beenies (bc a friend who shall remain nameless refuses to make them for me anymore!) Anyway, it’s like the “thing” to do right now at the job with the kids. So I’m talking to this one girl who is VERY excited about finishing her first beenie and she goes “look Ms. Rock, now I can wear beenies just like you, but instead of beenies and glasses, I’m going to wear beenies and bow ties.” Now being the person I am, I’m proud that she finally finished after 3 days and that she’s excited about taking a snippet of my style to mix with hers to create something new, bc I’m all for individuality… but then she goes, “so, why are you a tomboy?” Inside I’m thinking “what! Where’d that come from?” But I eventually ask “why do you think I’m a tomboy?” Long story short, she basically explains to me that I’m one bc I don’t wear make up everyday, wear short shorts, or sometimes my earrings are missing.
So here’s the thing… I don’t like labels, some labels can be good but just in general, for me it’s no bueno. The idea of being thrown into a group when many of my qualities are outside of the box is mind-boggling to me. And conformity makes me cringe! Granted I go to a job everyday that helps someone else’s dream come true, I’m the type of person that won’t do something if I really don’t want to do it. Anyway…back to the whole labels thing. In college we learned about something called the labeling theory, which basically says self-identity and behavior of individuals can be determined or influenced by the words used to describe or classify them. Sort of like a stereotype. So when someone immediately tries to classify me I get really rebellious about it. (I’m working on that lol)
My sense of style is about being comfortable. I’m not a dress, short shorts, and skirt kind of girl because to me it’s not comfortable! But I do it… when I want to!
Dress is similar to art that way. Your body is like a canvas, and on first glance people tend to judge what you have on. Taking a glance without willing to dig deeper.
I wear beenies bc I like the way I look in them and bc knitting is actually becoming a favorite hobby of mine and I like to display my work =)
But really, if you can’t be comfortable with who you are… that’s not living, that’s existing… and that, I refuse to do. So many are concerned with the way they are perceived, but it really shouldn’t be that way. If you can’t be you for you, why should I believe you are who you present for me… just saying.
Be who you are at all times, and if you lose a few people along the way, they really weren’t meant to be there anyway. Sometimes it takes being who you are to encourage others to truly be who they are. And as Mrs. Hall said last night during the youth explosion, “you weren’t born to fit in, you were born to stand out!”
Happy Saturday Friends! Have a safe, blessed and wonderful weekend. I leave you with this…

1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT
3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

Thanks again, God bless and One love.
-Quellz (komplex simplicity)

How Much is my Brand?

This has NOTHING to do with clothes lol
This has NOTHING to do with clothes lol


So sitting down to write this I initially was going to talk about the price of positivity. If I’m having a bad day at work, I’m going to be positive. If I’m having family issues, I’m going to be positive. If my car breaks down, smh I’m going to be positive. On and on and on, but at what cost?
See the other day I posted a picture on Facebook that said “I wear positivity like it’s my favorite brand. What do you wear?” Or… something like that, anyway… I got to thinking like how much is it costing me to have a continuous positive outlook when certain things are going so horribly wrong.
But then a voice told me “what makes you think you pay a price for positivity?” And I’m like, “well…”
But I guess I took too long to answer because then I heard,
“Did you have a positive outlook when that car hit you on the 110 freeway, the car was totaled and you walked away with barely a scratch. Or what about when that car got into your lane on the 405 and you hit the wall and started walking down the side of the freeway unharmed. Or what about when shots were fired and you didn’t get hit by a single bullet. What do you have to be negative about?”
My obvious answer was “well, nothing…”
But here’s the thing. So those of you that know me, know that usually on a scale of 1 to 10 I hang out at a mellow 5. I have a very nonchalant attitude, but a lot of that stems from me coming out of these impossible situations unscathed, knowing that if it wasn’t for the grace of God I wouldn’t even be here! That is what makes me so nonchalant about the little things.  I don’t like a change at work… it will be okay. Someone doesn’t like a decision I made… they will be okay lol… whatever happens… it will be okay!
It took me a while to realize that I came out of those situations because God wasn’t finished with me yet, he had other plans for my life…
So again I ask, how much is my brand? Priceless!
So the next time you’re feeling thrown in the mist of negativity, shake it off! In the big scheme of things, what do you really have to be negative about?
Did you wake up this morning? Yes!
So really, what else is there?
And even when things aren’t going your way and everything seems like it’s crumbling around you, I assure you… you will be okay!
But positivity isn’t something that you can turn on and off, like a water faucet. “today I’ll be positive and tomorrow I’ll be negative.” No… it’s more like an outlook,  like despite what’s going on, I’m alive, I’m okay, and I know there’s better on the way. Living in the light will help you stay free, and as someone I greatly adore told me the other day, “we have to keep ourselves free to help others become free.” Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT) says …31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you… and I know sometimes it can be hard, but it takes practice. I read somewhere once that it takes 21 days to form a habit, thinking positive works the same way (I believe), do it enough and it’ll become natural, automatic even…
Finally friends, I leave you with this…

Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Thanks again, God bless and One love.
-Quellz (komplex simplicity)

Dear Dreamer,

Dreamers can be doers
Dreamers can be doers

When is the last time you made a conscious effort to do something that would make your dreams come true?

           Don’t get me wrong dreamer, we need others like you…

           Especially when we’re stuck in a world where conformity is expected,

            And often times uniqueness is rejected.

I have found that, although we are responsible for our own paths, we often allow outside forces to dictate our actions. We have these plans and visions for our life, but somewhere along the line we lose focus, like Peter on the water. Be courageous, but don’t lose FOCUS! Losing focus will have you drowning in an ocean of self-doubt. The world will try to drown you in negativity, but I remind you that you can SWIM! Sometimes the largest waves of doubt originate in the minds of others before transferring to ourselves, and again I remind you dreamer to shake off the negativity as though it is a mere piece of seaweed drifting afloat…
Dreams are like a key of understanding to the map of the subconscious…
Dreamer, when is the last time you wanted your dreams to come true?
And then what did you do about it?
A dream is just a dream unless you put some effort into it.

You want a new job? Go for it. You want to explore your talents? DO IT! Creativity adds sparks of color to this otherwise dull world. Do what you need to do to make your dreams come true, regardless of what the world says. And as my bro D. Brown always says, leave room for the “God factor.”
I leave you with this…
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Thanks again, God bless and One love.
-Quellz (komplex simplicity)

P.S. I’ll be @ Ella Jean’s Café on Sunday evening (around 6) for their UPCLOSE & Poetry event, if you’ll be in the Nashville area, feel free to join me =)

Good Morning!

20150721_195338First, I’d like to say THANK YOU for even taking the time out of your day to check out my blog in the first place. For those of you who know me, you know that I am an extremely private person and voicing myself is a very big deal… at least to me it is. Although lately I have found myself embracing new people, new directions, and new opportunities. (So if we met within the last 30 days, the private shyness I speak of probably does not apply to you.) =)

Sooo… I am pretty sure this is the part where I list some incredibly profound reason as to why I started this blog, but the truth is, it is simply here as a way to connect, to family, to friends, and to future friends.

My wish is that this becomes a place of refuge from the cold world, using the embers of the passionate to create a warm embrace. A place where free thought is everything and God is first. I’m simply using this as an opportunity to finally allow my fingertips to record the words that truly originate from my soul.

I’m at the point in my life right now where 20 years down the line, I don’t want to scroll down my timeline and be embarrassed by the ignorance of my former self.  As a result, I choose to speak life!

So, if I know you, heeey! If I don’t, I look forward to meeting you, and if we are stuck in the in between, I’m all about good times, good vibes, good people, and good music (no pun intended for those who know what I’m talking about haha).

I look forward to this journey and pray that no matter what group you fell into, we find some way to connect! Thanks again, God Bless, and One love.

-Quellz (komplex simplicity)

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