Komplex Simplicity

I see you about 50 times a year…
And every time I see you my feelings are different
If I ever told you that I’m sorry for my conflicting emotions just know that I meant it
It’s just that…
Sometimes seeing you is as easy as Sunday mornings
And, sometimes seeing you is like being in mourning
You see…
The thought of not seeing you fills me with fear
But the thought of you being near fills me with an endless spectrum of emotional ranges
And it’s so hard!
Forcing me to want to get out of this emotional environment
Or maybe I’m just dealing with my sense of entitlement
Which really has no place in this
I was thinking…
Maybe if we could just reach a compromise
So this feeling of conflicting feelings can be modified
Into something I can better identify…
Maybe If we could just… rush through the time we have to spend together
Then I can trick myself into thinking that our time spent was better
But, never mind because if I speed up time then that just leaves me with less time to prepare my fragile feelings for the next time I have to see you, sooo…
Or or or…
Maybe if we could just find a better way to spend the day
Then I could come to appreciate
What seeing you really means
I mean, maybe if we could…
Never mind, you know what I’m trippin
I’m asking you to work this out when I just realized that its me acting different
Because like I said… I see you about 50 times a year and you’re always the same
So, I guess that means it’s me that has changed
But I have some more changing to do
Until then you and I should call a truce
Because I see days not so distant
Where the thought of us being together isn’t met with resistance
Even though, even now I should exalt in your existence, and I do…
See I was thinking that someday,
I wouldn’t even want to press the snooze button when my phone alarm rings it’s Monday.

Thanks again, God Bless and One love

-Quellz (komplex simplicity)